choosing JOY

I read  a lot of blogs.  A few family blogs, a lot of mommy blogs, a couple "make your house cute" blogs.  I recently made this family "yearbook"  a la Young House Love.  We made it through MyPublisher.  It took a few nights of organizing photos but it turned out really great.  We got it under a free extra pages promotion so it was only $35 - an awesome deal for a book over 80 pages long!

I've found a few "cancer" blogs throughout my treatment process too.  Some are uplifting, some are sad, some are full of complaints.  Some focus way too much on the bad.  Why did I get cancer.  I'm so sad I got cancer.  I can't believe this happened to me.  They detail every single terrible thing that chemo does to them.  I get it.  I've been through it.  Chemo totally sucks.  I have my TWELFTH chemo tomorrow.  I know about the bad stuff.  I lost almost all my hair.  I have like 5 hairs left on my eyebrows.  I get so tired I go to bed at 8pm and take three hour naps. My nose runs like a faucet 24 hours a day.  I'll spare you more details. 

Only God knows why I got cancer.  I didn't choose it.  No one would.

BUT.

I CAN choose how I respond to it.  I can CHOOSE JOY.  Why wouldn't I?  I've got it pretty darn good.   One blog I read is super inspiring -Lil Blue Boo - a woman who thought she was pregnant, only to find out it wasn't a pregnancy - it was cancer.  A rare type of cancer that required an emergency hysterectomy and grueling chemo that may or may not be working.  Way worse than me.  She chooses joy. 

I have no control over the crazy lady in front of me swearing at the pharmacist at Meijer about an insurance issue.  But I can control how patient I am and how nice I can be to the poor pharmacist.  You never know what someone else is going through.   Elise and I don't mind waiting an extra few minutes and having another pack of smarties.  Elise was probably happier.

I guess my point is just to quit bitching about your life and be happy with what you have.  I'm alive.  I'm cancer-free (yay!).  I have a sweet husband and a precious daughter.  I have a beautiful home and amazing family.  I am joyful.

(The cotton balls are an idea I found online: we were working on the word soft.   Elise mostly just threw them and tore them into tiny pieces.) 

Chemo #12 tomorrow.  Last one.  AND -- my hair is growing back!! Already!  I can't believe it.  It's super fuzzy and still pretty thin on top.  My mom took a buzzer to it with a guard last weekend so it's all the same length now.  But it's growing!  I may not need to sport the turbans on Spring Break.  I'll just be the weird lady with the buzz cut.