let's get radiated.

Radiation is weird.  I don't see anything or feel anything but I kind of expected to grow a third arm or something.  Or at least I hoped my gum might mutate into a junior mint.  No such luck. 

It's not really that kind of radiation.  

When I get there I have to swipe my ID card and go back to a changing room, where I have to strip down my top half and put on a lovely hospital top.  Then I go to this fancy waiting room with a giant fireplace with all the other people in only a hospital top - most of whom are all significantly older than me and sorta look at me funny.  Then the radiation therapists come get me and take me back to this big room where I have to lay on this skinny table in the mold they made so I am in the exact same position every time.  

I am completely topless except for this paper (the kind they use at the dentist) over my chest.  Except on this one they tear a huge hole in the middle so they can align me according to the little tattoo dot they put on my chest.  The dot is the size of the tip of a pen and the hole is as big as a cantaloupe.  Seriously.  I told them they didn't have to make the hole so big but I think that's the standard size.  A light breeze would send that thing flying and I'd be alone on a table topless in a huge room.  And they'd have it on camera.  My only consolation is the thought that I'm pretty sure they have seen women older, fatter, and with weirder boobs than little old me.

This room is insane.  It's pretty huge, with this big machine right in the middle.  When I'm on this thing it feels like I'm in this science fiction movie where they're going to replace my brain with something from the Matrix.  It rotates completely around you and takes xrays (to make sure you're in the right position) and then the radiation.  It's crazy.  After about 15 minutes I'm done and I go home.  So - three more weeks of treatment. 

It's not a post without a picture:  We got out some markers and a coloring book for Miss Elise this week.  She loved it.  I'm so thankful for ColorWonder -- she colored more on the table than the coloring book. 

6 weeks post-chemo {an update}

It's been six weeks since my last chemo.  And it feels so good.  A few things:

My hair is growing back.  It's still super short but I haven't worn my wig in weeks. 

My eyebrows are growing back too!  They looks really weird right now though - like I accidentally shaved them off and now there's stubble.  Eyebrow stubble. 

I have to shave my legs now.  I was kind of enjoying that perk from chemo.  

I almost never think about cancer.  It seems so weird that it even happened to me.   I'm currently more worried about the dandelion epidemic taking over my backyard. 

I start radiation tomorrow.   I'm getting a super low dose for a short amount of time - so hopefully it won't affect me at all.  I'm expecting to be a little more tired and some skin irritation but that should be the extent of it.  It's annoying because it's every afternoon (Monday - Friday) for almost 4 weeks.  Looks like Lemmen-Holten and I will be getting friendly for awhile.  At least they make good lattes.  

My mom got all of us one of these necklaces from Lil Blue Boo.  She even got one for Elise when she gets older.  I love it.  Thanks Mom. 

And to wrap up our vacation posts, here's a picture of Nick and the fish he caught and ate for dinner and a sweet video of Elise on the beach. 

Singer Island - Part 2

A few more pictures of our wonderful vacation.  I took about a million.   It was really hard just picking a few so get ready - you are about to be overwhelmed with pictures of Elise.  You're welcome. 

Elise loved the pool.   My mom had lots of goodies packed in her suitcase.  I'm pretty sure all the other kids were jealous.  We shared. 

My mom and dad were kind enough to watch Elise on Wednesday and Thursday so we could drive down to Key West.  It was a long but super beautiful drive through the keys.  We went to this awesome restaurant we saw on 'Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives' called Hogfish Bar & Grill.  So so good.   We spent the day on Key West and had drinks and pie on the Pier at Sunset.  Heaven.

She's cute and she knows it.

She warmed up to the beach - a little. 

She let her feet get wet and didn't freak out.  Progress. 

The resort had an awesome pool with a great little kid area.  Elise could just walk in and out all day and it was super shallow.  

Girlfriend loves her some chocolate milk.  She would get SO excited and suck it down.  It was usually a well rounded meal of chocolate milk, french fries, and ketchup.  Dairy and vegetables. 

The boys and Lauren & Aubrey went fishing one day.  We met them down at the docks and watched the guy filet our supper.  SO GOOD. 

Put on your shades - pasty white Goote's at the beach!

We had such a great time.  Thank you Mom & Dad for a fabulous week!

Singer Island

We are having the best time.  Elise did awesome on the planes.  She slept only about 15 minutes on the last flight, and she was so tired by the afternoon.  More tired than I have ever seen her.  She was beside herself.  Could not handle one more minute of life.   It didn't help that she is a little sick (better now).  She had a fever, and still has a bad cough.  Nurse Lauren has been pushing the Tylenol and Motrin.    

She's not a huge fan of the beach.  She does not enjoy sand.  If she saw a shell she wanted to pick up she points to it and tells one of us to get it.  

The bucket is sort of like a purse.

Cheeseball ketchup face. 

Elise and Auntie Aubrey wore matching necklaces. 

Do you think the chunky necklace and earrings distracts from the chunky lady with the shiny head?  Bah.

She was making faces at herself at the restaurant for dinner.  She knows she was looking very cute tonight.  

playing outside!

Yesterday and today have been absolutely beautiful!  Sunny and WARM!  This never happens in Michigan in March.  Last year at this time I think the lake was still frozen.  Not this year!  We went to the park in the afternoon.  I don't know who was more exhausted: me or Elise!  She is busy.  And she has no fear.  I spent the whole time chasing her and making sure she didn't fall off a ledge or get bark lodged in her eye.  She goes down the big slides no big deal.  She just scoots her little self to the edge and turns around and goes feet first.  Her poor little legs are all bruised up after only two days of playing outside!  She LOVES it. 

Yay swings!!

Later that afternoon we went outside to wait for Daddy to come home.  She found her bike helmet and insisted she wear it. 

We played with chalk - which looked pretty tasty to Elise.  I'm pretty sure she only did this once. 

She found a new hiding place for rocks. 

A little video.  And her shorts are way to big on her so I tried to safety pin them.  

They looked so funny!

Up & Out

 Today was so beautiful out we went outside after naptime. 

  Elise LOVES it outside. 

She loves it so much she cries and cries when we have to come inside.  

She is so so so sad.

She was totally fine about 5 minutes after this picture.

AND - big news - Auntie Sarah is engaged!  Congratulations Sarah and Adam!  Sarah was completely surprised at an "UP" themed party she thought was for Adam.  We were waiting in the back room for awhile before they arrived. 

Now I really need to watch this movie.  

It was so cute.  Congrats guys!

playdates, projects, and pure sweetness

Last week Elise had her friends Nicolynn and Stella (and their moms!) over to play.  Stella is still a little too small to play, but Nicolynn and Elise had a great time.  They did a superb job of trashing the playroom.  :-)

I went to town on a project I've been wanting to do since we moved in.  We have this giant empty wall by the stairs.  A few weeks ago I bought a bunch of frames at Ikea and used a tip from Pinterest to hang them.  I just used some old Christmas wrapping paper and cut them to the sizes of the frames.  Then I could move them around until I had the right positions.  I marked the spots where the nails would go so I had minimal holes to fix.  

 I think it turned out pretty cute! 

 

Elise after her nap today.  The pigtails kill me.

Every night before we eat dinner we say a little prayer.  Elise knows and folds her hands.  

It's so stinking cute.   

"Smile big!"

A little cancer update: Last Tuesday we met with my oncologist.  He went over my scans - and I am officially cancer free!  No cancer detected on any scans.  The radiation is mostly a precaution to help lower the odds of anything coming back.  I scheduled to get my port removed near the end of April.  For the next year, I will get a scan every 4 months - just to watch and make sure nothing comes back. 

I got a mold made for radiation to make sure I am in the correct position every time.  I also have tiny little tattoo marks on my chest.  They just blend in with all the other freckles.  This week I went to the mall without my wig.  I wore a headband and big earrings so people would still know I'm a girl.  I look like GI Jane.  Or at least I would if I lost 50 pounds and could do a push-up. 

There's an update for you.  I've started packing for our trip to Florida next week and we are so excited.  We need a vacation like none other. 

a megapost.

Warning:  Lots of random and maybe not so interesting information coming your way.  Don't say I didn't warn you.  


Friday we met with the radiation oncologist.  Nick was still in England so my dad went with me.  Long story short - I will be getting radiation.  Starting after our vacation around the end of March.  Hey -- at least I get to have a few at a bar on a beach before they start shooting me with death rays.  Kidding...sort of.   


Because my tumor was so "bulky", as they like to call it, they are recommending three and a half weeks of low dose radiation, targeted at my chest and neck -  basically everywhere there was cancer before.  I hate the word 'bulky'.  SO not flattering.   No girl likes to be called bulky. 


But the good news was that we saw my last PET scan from Tuesday,  and it looks really good.  There is no visible cancer.  We'll get the official results from my doctor next week.  They are doing radiation just to be sure we get anything microscopic and because it decreases the odds of it coming back.   I never want to see this stuff again.  It sucks.  And it totally messes up my plans.       

That morning I met my mom at PetSmart.  Basically so Elise could practice all her animal sounds and have tons of fun.  When I came home she knew how to do this:

Thanks Mom.  I really don't know what I'd do without you.  

Lauren and Carl came to town this weekend.   After Elise and I picked up Nick from the airport I went out since Nick wanted to go to bed.  It turns out my Auntie Winnie was performing at Mojo's (a local piano bar) Saturday night.   Here's a picture of Elise and Auntie Winnie at her birthday last July:

And here she is singing "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga:

Kidding.  That isn't really her.  But the whole night we pretended it was.  Love you and miss you Auntie Winnie!  

So that's it for now.  I have some really cute pictures from a playdate we had earlier this week but those will have to wait for another day.  Momma needs to go to bed.