Elise says hi.

the results are in.

Good news, people!  Test results are back.  

Bone marrow is clear.  Cancer is limited to above my diaphragm, on the left side.  We are so so so happy.   I am officially diagnosed as Stage II Nodular Sclerosis Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  However, the PET scan showed the mass on my chest is 11cm by 5cm.  It also showed some spots above my collarbone and the one I felt in my armpit.  There's also a small spot on my neck.  For comparison's sake - the large mass is about as big as my cell phone:

So, we move forward with the same plan as before.  8-12 chemo treatments, every 2 weeks, probably starting September 13.  The good news of being Stage II is that the odds of being "cured" are higher than if I was at a more advanced stage.  We are all super happy with the test results.  They are the best they could possibly be at this point.  Tomorrow we have a consult with a radiologist to see if radiation will be necessary.  We'll keep you posted.  Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers!

Weekend

This weekend was wonderful and relaxing.  We didn't go anywhere and it was fabulous.  Elise had a blast too.  We did lots of swinging...

Took a few walks...

Played by the water...

Hung out with our cousin Erika who's back at Calvin...

Played with some rocks...

Here's a little video of Elise and her new favorite thing:  rocks.

TGIF

Seriously.  So glad this week is over. 

Yesterday was really hard.  It started with a bone marrow biopsy.  I was really scared of this one, and they don't put you under at all, it's all done under local anesthesia.  They have you lay on your stomach and go into your pelvic bone from the back.  Lauren went with me, and being the nurse that she is, she asked if we could have a little extra help in the pain department.  It was no problem and they gave me an IV of dilaudid.  It worked great for the procedure.  Although I'm pretty sure I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (not that I have one).  It was really not fun and still pretty painful. 

Right after the biopsy I had to head downstairs to prep for the PET/CT scan.  I started getting a really bad reaction to the dilaudid - super nauseous and sick.  The nurses started me on an IV with some radioactive glucose that makes the cancer show up on the PET scans.  It has to circulate in your system for 2 hours before the scan, so they set me up in this really comfy warm chair and I slept for a few hours.  The actual PET scan only took about 15 minutes.  I felt pretty sick the rest of the afternoon, but felt a lot better by the evening. 

Today we had a consultation with a chemo nurse.  She was really nice and super encouraging.  She reassured us that pushing chemo back a week to 10 days for our fertility business will have no effect on the treatment for my lymphoma.  She was very positive that this is just a minor bump in the road of life, and that in a few months this will all be behind us.  She used the word "cured" a lot.  She also gave us a quick tour of the chemotherapy area.  So weird to see.  I will probably be the youngest person by far back there.  

After the consult, we headed downstairs to get the mediport put in my chest.  It took a couple hours, but it was painless and fast.  They put me out, so I don't remember anything.  I now have a port right below my collarbone where they will administer the chemotherapy.  It's feeling a little more real now.  

Grandpa and Grandma Goote took Elise today so my Mom and Nick could be with me.  They took her to lunch at Great Grandma's, and then out to the beach in Grand Haven.  She had the BEST day, and even came back with a new toy.  Thanks so much Jim and Judy!  

So, hell week is over.  Although next week I start on the fertility hormones so watch out, people.  It's about to get even more interesting.

Cancer Orientation Week

That is what my sister Lauren and I determined that this week felt like.  Cancer Orientation.   Kind of like on the first day of high school where you are scared shitless (I can swear now I have cancer) and you're positive you'll never find your classes and are afraid of really big seniors and on top of that have terrible acne and braces and are slightly overweight.  Or was that just me?  

Except this is way scarier.  Way scarier.  

There is so much we don't know.  Half of what I've been told I've had to go home and look up. 

Monday involved discussing freezing embryos with a fertility doctor, because after chemotherapy the odds of having properly-working lady parts are not that great.  It will be nice to have that in our back pocket just in case we need them.  There definitely needs to be more Goote babies in our future.  We know they'll be cute.  See exhibit A:

Tuesday we met with my oncologist - we like him.  He's very factual and straightforward, but he seems pretty nice too.  The good news is that this is one of the few cancers that the doctors will actually use the word "cured" to describe the possible outcome.   The bad news is that the tumor is "a large mass about 9 centimeters in diameter, pushing into the rib cage and eroding the chest wall."  That is very scary, but the doctor said that this is a normal presentation of this form of cancer, that surgery is not recommended and chemo will typically take care of things.  

Today I had a pulmonary (lung capacity) test, and a chest echo.  The chemotherapy can be toxic to both so they have to test to make sure all is well before starting.  I passed.  Here's a picture Lauren took in the breathing machine:

 We had another appointment at the Fertility Center as well this afternoon - a basic information dump on what to expect and how fast we can get the process going.  The sooner the better. 

Tomorrow will consist of a bone marrow biopsy and a PET/CT scan.  I don't know which one I'm more scared of.  The bone marrow biopsy I've heard is pretty painful.  The PET scan on the other hand is not painful, but will tell us exactly where the cancer is, and if there's any more.  Please pray the bone marrow comes back clear and the cancer is limited to my left side above the diaphragm.  I'm pretty sure that would still classify me as Stage 2.


Friday we have a Chemotherapy Consult with the nurses and right after that I head across the street to the hospital to get my Mediport put in my chest.  The Mediport is how they will administer the chemotherapy.  Then I will have a few days off before I head back to the Fertility Center Monday morning for bloodwork and an ultrasound. 

I feel like we haven't stopped moving.  I think I'm actually looking forward to chemo because we will have a set schedule and hopefully no more crazy weeks like this one.  I have a feeling I may eat those words later. 


So we're all doing pretty good.  I get sad sometimes, but we know we just have to move forward.  Elise is so silly and happy all the time, you can't be sad around her.  We honestly don't know what we'd do without her.  


Tonight we took a little boat ride after dinner.  Boat rides are not exactly relaxing with Elise.  She keeps trying to climb off.  The girl is terrified of a bubble machine but has no fear to jump off a moving boat into 65 foot deep water.

Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

This girl will get us through any bad day.  She is pure joy.

Here she is being silly on the way to my Mom and Dad's today:

And, thank you to everyone for your sweet comments.  We read every single one many times.  They mean so much to us, so thank you.

This Changes Everything

We've been busy.  Last week I was diagnosed with cancer.  Hodgkin's Lymphoma. 

I had been having some pain in my left arm for several months which I attributed to carrying around a 20 pound baby all the time.  Then I felt a lump in my armpit, noticed some redness, and the pain was not going away.  I made an appointment with my doctor, my OB to check it out as it was near my breast.  We were referred to another doctor who took some xrays and ordered an MRI.   After the MRI I was sent for a biopsy of the mass they saw in my armpit.  At the biopsy we found the mass was my enlarged lymph node.  The next day we got a call from my doctor saying the preliminary results of the biopsy were in: cancer.   Most likely lymphoma.  My treatment will probably involve chemotherapy and/or radiation. 

Tears.  Crying.  Sobbing.  You never think this will happen to you.  More crying.

That was Thursday.  Friday we got a call that the rest of the pathology was back and I have Nodular Sclerosis Hodgkin's Lymphoma.  We wait for a call to tell us when our appointment is at the Lemmen-Holten Cancer Center downtown.  The Cancer Center.  Unbelievable.

Since we just sold our house, we spent Saturday packing and moving everything out and into a storage unit.   I may need surgery so we thought we should just get it out now, and we really needed the distraction.  We will be moving into my Mom and Dad's house.  Looking back, selling our house was a complete blessing.  We can now completely focus on my treatment and recovery, and we will have the help we need with Elise.

Next week will consist of meeting with a fertility specialist, and my oncologist.  And probably many more tests to determine exactly what type and stage the cancer is. 

This is really, really hard to believe.  It makes us so sad, but we are optimistic.  With this type of cancer there is a very, very, good chance of a 100% recovery.  It makes family the very most important and precious thing you have.  Everyone we know has been so supportive and loving.  We have amazing friends and family.  I definitely hug Elise a little tighter now.  

I will keep the blog updated with new information, and of course still provide pictures of our Sweet Elise for your viewing pleasure.  :-)

Keep us in your prayers.

Busy

I know - it's been a week since I've last posted.  We have been very busy.  We spent yesterday loading a Uhaul truck three times and bringing it all to a storage unit we rented.  We are officially moving in with my Mom and Dad for a little while while we house hunt.  Meanwhile, Elise is loving all the wide open space in the house to run around.   

And she always is trying to get Daddy's glasses.  He wasn't paying close enough attention this time. 

Baby in a Toy Box

She thinks is hilarious when she crawls into our coffeetable her toy box.  Until she can't get out, and then it's not funny anymore. 

Ludington - Last Day

I know.  You guys are totally sick of these posts.  Sorry.  This blog is a place for me to save these memories too, so I want to be sure I get everything. 

On Saturday we went to Ludington State Park & Hamlin Lake Dam.  Elise loved the french fries we gave her for lunch and walking all around and looking at turtles with Daddy.

Then we spent some time at the best beach ever.  Really shallow warm little wading pools perfect for 1 year olds. 

That night we went downtown for some pizza and ice cream.  Yeah - I gained like 4 pounds that weekend.  We're working it off hauling boxes though, so don't worry.  Little Miss Cutie pants made herself at home in Ludington's downtown. 

Ludington - Day 3

On Friday we rented a boat and cruised around Hamlin Lake.   They have this really shallow area next to these huge sand dunes.  It was the perfect place to park for lunch and play!

Nick took Elise all the way to the top of the dune.   He's crazy - that thing was huge.

This girl loves the lake.  ...and a picture of The Suit.   I could stand to lose a few (*cough*...20) pounds, but at least I have a cute bathing suit.

Elise loved to help Grandpa by eating the boat keys.

That night we went to a big street fair in downtown Ludington.  Elise was dying to get out of her stroller and try her first elephant ear. 

In other news...

Last week we decided to put our house for sale.  Ya know -- "just to see if it sells".  We have been talking for awhile about needing more space, and we could get a great deal on a bigger house right now.  So, the sign went up.  4 days later, we had a full price offer.  And now we're closing on September 8.  And we have no idea where we will go.  An apartment?  A new house?  My Mom's?  (Hi Mom!  I'm apologizing in advance just in case this actually happens.)   So we've rented storage units to be delivered tomorrow.  I'm about to go to Target and buy out their stock of giant plastic bins.   We've called almost every pet-loving apartment complex in the area to see if they'll rent month-to-month (no one does).   In the next 30 days we have to clear out our house, and hopefully find a new one we love.  Yay?

Ludington - Day 2

Elise started off the day by refusing her nap in the morning.  Grandma lovingly volunteered to take her for a walk in the stroller where she eventually cashed out in her jammies.  (Thanks Grandma!)

 We headed to Ludington's City Beach where Elise was introduced to Lake Michigan!

Daddy provided shade for the whitest baby in the universe. 

We took a little walk on the beach...

Elise loved this little beach ball we found at the house.   I need to find one of these. 

Girlfriend was so exhausted by the time we left.  She was totally spaced out and would just sit and eat her (sandy) feet.   After the beach we'd just strip her down and put her in a dry diaper until we got home.  The beach wears you out!  Seriously it wears me out.

Look at the water!  And this is a LAKE!  Sometimes Michigan gets to be the cool kid.  

Ludington - Day 1

Prepare for a picture overload.  Sorry.  I took a ton. 

We had so much fun in Ludington I couldn't fit it all in one post!  The first day Elise and I went up by ourselves so Nick could study and take his final exam for his class on Thursday.   We went to the Hamlin Lake beach.  It was very windy. 

Check out her cute little Keens!  We got these as a baby gift when she was born, and they are perfect for walking in the sand!

 Grandma and Elise played in the sand...

Elise found a stick...

Poor thing had sand everywhere.

 We went to the famous "House of Flavors" for dinner.  Elise enjoyed some french fries and a lemon or two.   And ice cream of course!

 

 Hmmmm.... what flavor should I get?

funnest.day.ever.

We've been a little busy the last few days. 

We've been at a house with Nick's family in Ludington and having the best time.  I have SO many cute pictures to post but the internet connection here is spotty and I've already stayed up way too late getting this video working.   It's long and will probably be boring to everyone but close relatives.   Elise is having SO much fun!

Here's a little preview of what we've been doing:

Family Pictures

Last Sunday we had some family pictures take at the lake.  The day could not have gone better.  Elise was recovered from being sick, and had just woken up from an awesome nap.  See?  Happy baby!  We are so happy with them and we can't believe our girl is ONE!
 

I had to pick only a few for the blog - I have a hundred I love!  Which ones are your favorites?